A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Shakespeare, 1595)

Setting: Athens, ancient times.

Act One
Scene 1: Theseus’ palace. Theseus and Hippolyta happily discuss their upcoming wedding. Theseus tells his Master of Revels, Philostrate, to rile up the public to make merry for the celebration. He tells his fiancee: “Hippolyta, I woo’d thee with my sword, / And won thy love, doing thee injuries; / But I will wed thee in another key, / With pomp with triumph and with revelling.” Egeus enters with Hermia, Lysander, Demetrius, and a complaint: he has arranged a marriage between his daughter Hermia and Demetrius, but Hermia has been wooed by Lysander and now refuses to marry anyone else. Although Hermia insists that her love for Lysander is real, Theseus gravely informs her that if she does not follow her father’s will, she will be sent to a nunnery. Hermia stubbornly accepts this, and Theseus tells her that she has until his own wedding day and she must then choose between death, marriage to Demetrius, and the nunnery. Lysander likewise refuses to give Hermia up, and tells Egeus that Demetrius has seduced Helena. Theseus sweeps out to discuss marriage business and most of the others follow, leaving Lysander and Hermia alone. They complain about their plight, but Lysander has a plan: he has a widowed aunt who lives far from the reaches of Athens. If Hermia will agree to meet him in the woods the following night, they can go to his aunt’s house and be married there. Hermia happily agrees, but they are interrupted by the entrance of Helena, who is distraught that Demetrius does not love her and only has eyes for Hermia. Hermia comforts her by telling her all about her and Lysander’s plan. They leave Helena alone, who is still upset – until she has the idea to win favour with Demetrius by telling him about Hermia’s intended flight.
Scene 2: Cottage. The actors have gathered to receive their parts for their play, Pyramus and Thisby. Bottom the weaver has been cast as the tragical lover Pyramus, but he would much rather play a warrior, and is keen to also play the parts of Thisby and the lion. They discuss costuming (Bottom wants to wear an extravagant fake beard), and then Peter Quince, the director, hands out the parts and suggests that they all meet to rehearse in the woods the following night.

Act Two
Scene 1: Woodland. Puck and a Fairy meet and describe their adventures. Puck says that his master, King Oberon, wants Queen Titania’s changeling child (a young Indian prince) for himself, but she refuses to give him up. As a result, the royal couple are arguing. He then discusses all the pranks that he is known to play.
Scene 2: Woodland. Oberon and Titania meet and argue, she refusing to give up her prince. She sweeps off and Oberon calls Puck to him, He tells him about a certain flower that can induce a love-spell, and tells Puck to fetch it for him. Puck leaves, promising to return soon, and Oberon reflects on his plan to make Titania fall in love with the first thing she sees so that he can take the prince from her. Demetrius and Helena enter, and he becomes invisible to watch them. Demetrius is on the trail of Hermia and Lysander and is trying to shake off Helena. She refuses to leave him, telling him that even as he is cruel to her, she loves him. They wander off and Puck returns. Oberon tells Puck to put the juice of the flower in Titania’s eyes while she sleeps, and to do the same with the Athenian youth he has just encountered.
Scene 3: Woodland. Titania’s fairies sing her to sleep. Oberon enters and squeezes the juice from the flower into her eyes and tells her to wake only when a foul beast is near. Lysander and Hermia enter, tired from their night of travelling. They lie down to sleep a little way from one another, for modesty’s sake. Puck enters and assumes that Lysander and Hermia are the couple he has been looking for, so he squeezes the flower’s juice into Lysander’s eyes and leaves. Demetrius and Helena then enter, running, but she cannot keep up with him and so collapses on the ground while he runs off. She laments her fate, but then sees Lysander asleep and wakes him. He sits up – and falls madly in love with her! She assumes that he is making fun of her and leaves; he follows close behind, speaking of his newfound hatred of Hermia. Hermia then awakes from a bad dream. She realises that Lysander is gone and hurries off to look for him.

Act Three
Scene 1: Woodland. The actors gather near to where Titania sleeps. Bottom has many complaints about the play; he is concerned that the ladies will be scared if Pyramus is seen to kill himself, and if they see the lion. These problems are resolved, but new ones appear: how to stage the moonlight and the wall? They decide to use natural moonlight and that they will have a man act the part of the wall. The rehearsal can now begin, but Puck enters and decides to have some fun. After Bottom has made his first speech, he leads him out and replaces his head with that of an ass. He then leads him back to the other actors, who flee in terror. Bottom is deeply insulted and wanders around, singing, and wakes Titania – who is enthralled by him: “What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?” She praises his beauty and wit, demands that he stay with her in the woods, and orders her fairies to treat him well. He introduces himself to them and is led away to Titania’s bower.
Scene 2: Woodland. Oberon asks Puck if Titania has awoken yet, and Puck tells him all about Titania’s passion for Bottom. Oberon is very pleased, and Puck goes on to tell him that he managed to drug the Athenian as well. Demetrius and Hermia enter, her accusing him of murdering Lysander. Demetrius is cagey at first, but then admits that he is no murderer and Lysander is still alive, as far as he knows. She leaves and he lies down to go to sleep, while Oberon realises that Puck has drugged the wrong man and demands that the fairy go and fetch Helena. Puck leaves while Oberon casts a spell to make Demetrius fall in love with Helena when he wakes up, and Puck soon returns with Helena and Lysander following behind. Their arguing awakens Demetrius, who promptly falls in love with Helena. Unfortunately, she believes that he is just conspiring with Lysander to make fun of her. Demetrius and Lysander argue with each other over who deserves Helena, and then Hermia enters. She is startled to find Lysander’s hatred of her, and Helena bitterly accuses her of being in on the joke as well. Demetrius and Lysander continue arguing and eventually agree to fight one another, “to try whose right / Or thine or mine is most in Helena.” Helena also leaves, disgusted with them all, and Hermia pursues her. Oberon angrily blames Puck for this outcome; Puck claims that it is not his fault but admits that he is enjoying the confusion he has caused. Oberon tells him to confuse Demetrius and Lysander in the woods so that they cannot find one another to fight, and once they sleep, to put a potion into Lysander’s eye to set him right. When the lovers awaken, they will think all this has been a dream, and will return to Athens to be married. Oberon, meanwhile, will go to ask Titania to give him her Indian prince, and then break her love-spell. Puck agree but reminds Oberon that this all must be done quickly: it is nearly dawn. Oberon leaves and Lysander enters, searching for Demetrius. Puck imitates Demetrius’s voice to taunt him and Lysander follows him out; Demetrius then enters and Puck pretends to be Lysander. Lysander enters once more, tired, confused, and angry, and so he lies down to sleep. Puck and Demetrius enter; Demetrius is also exhausted and also decides to sleep. Finally, Helena and Hermia enter one after the other and lie down to sleep as well. Puck squeezes the flower juice on Lysander’s eyes and bids him fall in love with Hermia once more.

Act Four
Scene 1: Woodland. Titania bids Bottom sit with her on a bed of flowers. Bottom orders the fairies to fetch him various things and then he and Titania snuggle down to sleep next to one another. Oberon and Puck enter, Oberon admitting that he has begun to feel sorry for her. She has willingly given him the prince, so he now tells Puck to remove the donkey’s head from Puck and send him back to Athens. Oberon himself cures Titania and awakens her. She sees him and is in love once more, telling him that she dreamt that she was in love with an ass. Oberon shows her the sleeping Bottom and she is disgusted. Oberon tells Puck to right Bottom and calls for music. He leads Titania away. Theseus, Hippolyta, and Egeus enter. They encounter the four Athenian lovers and assume they have risen early to observe the May-day rituals. Theseus bids huntsmen wake them with their horns. They wake and Lysander confesses that he and Hermia were fleeing Athens to marry. Egeus is furious and demands that Demetrius join him in pursuing justice – but Demetrius announces that he now loves Helena and considers himslf engaged to her. Theseus announces that he is overruling Egeus’s will and wants the young lovers to marry at the same time as his marriage to Hippolyta. He, Hippolyta, and Egeus leave. Confused, the lovers follow behind. Bottom then wakes up and believes all that has happened to him to be a dream. He leaves, planning to have Quince write him a ballad for the play all about his dreamland adventures.
Scene 2: Quince’s house. Quince asks the other actors if they have heard from Bottom. They haven’t, and the play may have to be cancelled if he is not found as no one else has the skill to play Pyramus. Snug enters with news that more people are to be married. Bottom then arrives; his fellow actors are overjoyed but he insists on hurrying on with the preparations for the play.

Act Five
Scene 1: Theseus’s palace. Theseus, Hippolyta,and Philostrate enter with lords and Attendants. Theseus and Hippolyta puzzle over the story that the young lovers have told them: Theseus doesn’t believe a word of it but Hippolyta doesn’t understand how they could have all told the same story. The other four then enter and Theseus calls for some entertainment. Philostrate shows him the programme – and Theseus rejects everything except for Quince’s play. Philostrate warns him against it, but Theseus is intrigued, especially after he hears that it was prepared especially for the occasion, and insists on seeing it, “For never any thing can be amiss / When simpleness and duty tender it.” The play begins and the audience makes fun of it. Eventually, Theseus cuts off the ending and sends everyone to bed.
Scene 2. Puck enters and reflects upon nighttime being fairy time. Oberon, Titania, and their train enter and sing and dance a blessing upon the three mortal couples.

The Old Wives’ Tale (Peele, 1595)

Scene 1: Woodlands. Anticke, Frolicke, and Fantasticke are lost, but Anticke tells the others not to panic. They hear a dog and realise that they must be near a village. Clunch the Smith enters with a lantern and demands to know what they’re doing in the area. They explain that they are lost, and he offers them hospitality in his cottage and introduces them to his dog, Ball. They enter the cottage and are greeted by Madge, an old woman, who gives them cheese and pudding. The guests are not interested in food, however, and only want to talk, and they sing for their hosts. They then ask Madge to tell them a story. She agrees, but as Clunch is to go to bed (as he wakes up early), she says that one of them must go and lie with him. Anticke goes, and the others huddle round to listen to her story. She first insists that they must make noises at regular intervals so that she knows that they are still awake. She begins her story, of a king’s daughter, Delya, who is stolen away by a conjurer in the form of a bear and her two brothers who go out to seek her. Two men enter and begin to act out her story. Having arrived in Albion and unsure of where to go, the brothers encounter an old man gathering sticks straw from the ground. They give him some money and tell him about their sister, and he tells them to be brave and blow out every flame. He claims to be the white bear of England’s wood: originally from Thessaly, Sacrapant the sorcerer turned him into a bear by night and an old man by day because he coveted his betrothed wife, Venelia. Likewise, Venelia has been sent mad, and runs through the woods all day. His neighbour is Lampriscus, who enters to give him a pot of honey and ask for help with a problem. He has buried two wives; the first gave him a daughter who is a great burden to him, being poor and proud, while the second gave him a daughter who is really ugly and is impossible to marry off. The old man tells him to send them to the well to find their fortunes. Madge, Frolicke, and Fantasticke watch as harvest-men sing and then Huanebango enters with his sword and Booby the clown. Huanebango tells Booby to forget about rescuing Delya: only he is brave enough to do so. Booby refuses and the two men argue, Huanebango making sure to emphasise that he comes from good stock. They come across the old man, who gives them some advice – but Huanebango refuses to give him any alms and rides off. Booby sympathises with the old man, gives him some cake, and follows after his rival. Sacrapant enters, in a bad mood: he is not happy with Delya. Delya enters with a pot, telling him that she has been gathering roots for his supper. She asks for the best English meat, French wine, and a Spanish knave, and Sacrapant summons a friar who carries meat and wine. After these japes, he sends Delya away just before her two brothers enter. They call out to her and she answers – but then Sacrapant brings forth thunder and lightning and the brothers fall down. Two furies take them away to a cell, and Sacrapant reflects on how he has given Delya a potion that has made her forget herself. He goes on to show off a light in a glass that is the source of all his power, and can only be destroyed by one who is neither wife, widow, nor maid. He exits and Eumenides the wandering knight enters, accompanied by the old man. Eumenides is desperate to know when he will see Delya, and the old man tells him to govern his wit and pay more than he can. The old man leaves, then Wiggen, Corobus, a Church-warden, and a Sexton enter, arguing: Wiggen and Corobus want the parish to bury their friend Jack, but he was a useless drunken fool. Eumenides awakens and tries to resolve the argument, which he does by offering to pay for the burial himself, even though he can’t afford it. Madge, Frolicke, and Fantasticke watch the harvest-men singing again. Huanebango enters with Corebus the clown. Huanebango is struck down by a flame of fire, and then Sacrapant enters and makes Corebus blind. The two would-be heroes leave and Delya enters. Sacrapant renames her Berecynthia and has her stand over her two brothers and make them dig for gold. When they see her, they try to embrace her but she doesn’t recognise them because of Sacrapant’s spell. They dig until they come across Sacrapant’s glass of light, which Delya snatches away from them. Sacrapant praises her for her work. They all leave and Lampriscus’s cursed daughter Zantyppa approaches the well, asking for a good husband or none. She is followed by her ugly sister Celanta, who asks for the same; Zantyppa watches and breaks her pitcher against her sister’s. They briefly leave to fetch new pitchers, and the furies lay Huanebango down by the well. Zantyppa returns first, sees Huanebango, and is convinced that she will easily get a husband. She scorns her father’s advice to control her tongue, as “a woman without a tongue, is as a souldier without his weapon.” She asks the well for a husband again, and a head speaks from within. It tells her to brush its hair but she is disgusted and breaks her pitcher upon it. This brings forth thunder and lightning which wakes Huanebango. He is deaf and speaks gibberish, but manages to come to some sense. Zantyppa thinks she may like the prospect of a foolish husband and the two agree to a match and leave. Eumenides enters and bemoans his fate, but encounters Jack, who offers to be his servant. Eumenides is unsure – he can barely afford to keep himself, let alone a servant – but then Jack reveals that he knows a lot about him, and Eumenides eventually agrees to take him as his co-partner. Jack goes on ahead into inn and leads out a host who brings some good meat and some fiddlers to play – but Eumenides will not eat as he has no money. Jack bids him look in his purse, and it is filled with money! Eumenides gladly pays and then Jack leads him off to see Sacrapant. Celanta enters leading Corebus in. They have decided to marry and she assures him that she is good-looking. At the well, the head bids her comb its hair; unlike her sister, she acquiesces, and finds that she has combed a lot of gold into her lap. The couple go off happily. Eumenides and Jack return, and Jack stops up Eumenides’s ears so that he cannot be enchanted by Sacrapant. When Sacrapant enters, he finds that his spells don’t work and he believes he has been betrayed. Invisible, Jack steals Sacrapant’s wreath from his head and his sword from his hand. Sacrapant dies! Jack pulls the wool out of Eumenides’s ears and gives him Sacrapant’s sword to dig until he finds the glass of light. Only by breaking this may Sacrapant’s spells be broken, and Jack gives Eumenides a horn to blow to summon the one who is not wife, widow, or maid. Venalia enters, still mad, and breaks the glass. The spells are broken and Eumenides finds Delya asleep behind a curtain. He awakens her and declares his love. They agree to marry and then Jack enters with Sacrapant’s head in his hands but Eumenides doesn’t recogise it. Jack explains that Sacrapant stole the likeness of the old man, who was forced to take on Sacrapant’s own aged looks. Eumenides blows his horn again and Delya’s brothers enter with Venalia and Erestus, the once-old man. The brothers give their blessing to the marriage – but Jack reminds Eumenides that he promised to give him half of everything he had, so he must use his sword to split Delya in half. Eumenides tries to reason but decides that he can’t go back on a promise to a friend. The brothers protest but Eumenides is firm. Just in time, Jack stops him from killing Delya: he was only testing his constancy. With that, he leaps down into the ground. The characters are satisfied. Madge announces that she has reached the end of her story; it is now morning and she offers her guests some bread and cheese.

Notes
Likely written between 1588 and 1594. Parodies contemporary romances.